23 July 2009

To Give Your 10 Cents Or Not

‘I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite.’
G K Chesterton

Recently I watched a program interviewing 3 working mothers. It was the response of one of them that intrigued me. She stated her two older children had sought professional jobs and she was thrilled. However, her youngest son’s decision to open a joint strip club and car wash was unexpected. It was her reply to his career choice, which moved me. She was not overwhelmed with his career choice, however she accepted that this was his choice. She trusted him implicitly to do the right thing and hoped for her sake he would open a classy strip club.

Her decision to support her son in his career choice irrespective of her own judgements and views impressed me. She had absolute faith and confidence in her parenting skills and trusted her son to manage the club wisely.

As parents letting go is critical to their success as adults. Suffocating them with our judgements and limitations does nothing to encourage their independence and development. They will find their own limitations, burdening them with ours simply increases the restrictions.

Allow our children to make the right choices for themselves. Granted the choices may not be our preferred options but we have to respect that it is now their life. Confidence in our parenting skills and instilling values we hold precious should steer them to make the correct career choices. Should they select an alternative path, as parents, support is what they seek. They will receive a barrage of criticisms and negativity from others who when advising are subjective in their opinion.

No two people are destined to lead the same life and no individual should be compelled to live the life of another.

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